Our blog emerges from long dormancy with a tale set long ago in an English classroom far, far away. (Or Friday here in China for those of you who remain sticklers for facts.)
In recent weeks I’ve been talking about American politics as part of my school’s American culture series of lectures. Talking about politics in a Chinese classroom requires, in part, a certain academic distance from one’s true political leanings as well as a comparative approach that finds as many similarities as possible between the Chinese and Western polities while explaining the key differences between each system.
We teachers self-censor, to be sure, but anyone who has observed Chinese politics closely is aware of the internal Communist party dynamics that resemble the coalitioning at work within the elite leadership of most American political parties. Ultimately, the American people are enfranchised and the Chinese people are not, yet the forces at work that produce our available choices as American voters are similar to those forces which propel China’s next generation of leaders to the top of the politburo.
While talking about this to students I also take care to explain the variety of balances at work within American politics — between branches of government, between interest groups, between large states and small states, and between the majority and the minority — and highlight how China is very different from America in this respect, often to the detriment of Chinese citizens.
Of course, this high-minded talk may obscure the fact that I am no longer a university teacher but instead work at an almost-anything-goes English training center. Our core goal is a fun, productive English learning environment. And so, with a nod towards the goal of promoting fun, I spent a handful of minutes designing a classroom election activity for Friday afternoon.
What follows is a documentary account of how said activity unfolded.
The class began with a review of a few of the political terms I had previously introduced to the students. Specifically, we discussed:
- political parties
- political beliefs (“ideology” was too complex a term for a mixed-level student group)
- party platforms
English classes, particularly hour-long classes like this one, shouldn’t overwhelm the students with vocabulary. And with these few terms in hand we had enough to move on to the next step.
I again highlighted the concept of issues and elicited from the students a list of eight “hot issues” in China at the moment. The “two meetings” of the NPC and CPPCC, which were held in Beijing at the start of March, pushed most of these issues to the forefront, with the government talking about talking about solving various problems, while possibly but not really implementing solutions. (You see, China really is like America!)
The list of issues the students produced was as follows:
- controlling housing prices
- cleaning up pollution
- improving health care
- reforming education
- whipping inflation*
- fighting corruption
- maintaining full employment
- reducing inequality
* Okay, they didn’t actually say “whipping,” but all the talk about inflation got me to thinking of this:
Moving on, I divided the class into three roughly equal-sized groups and told them that they were all now political parties and that they were about to hold a political convention. Their first item of business? To choose an animal that represents their political party.
The first group of students was divided. Panzer II, the school’s resident Hitlerphile and small government libertarian, suggested that the party call itself the “Virus Party,” because they could infect and kill the other political parties. Another student wisely suggested the “Eagle Party” as an alternative. I had their group put it to a vote. “Eagle” defeated “Virus” by a vote of 8-2 with 5 abstentions. There’s no telling what animals the abstainees would’ve preferred.
The rest of the students were unanimous in their choice of party names. The second group called itself the “Wolf Party,” while the last and smallest group of students called itself the “Panda Party,” which immediately provoked a “Why didn’t we think of that?” reaction from the other groups. Personally, I was thinking of pandas on unicorns:
Next, I gave them the task of devising a party platform that addressed each of the eight issues we brainstormed earlier. Panzer II immediately suggested that “Ein Volk … ein Führer” as the Eagle Party platform. God (in this case, me) responded in the negative. Most of the groups went about their party platform work more seriously, however, and in the middle of the “convention” I asked them to nominate their candidates for president and vice-president.
Time management is essential in activities like this one, so I rushed the process along and had students announce their party platform and candidates and then had the six candidates — three presidents and three-vice presidents, three men and three women — all come to the front of the class.
It was time for a debate. The Eagle Party’s whole plan of action was built around taxing apartments larger than 90 square meters to pay for everything. (You see, they started out as Nazis and turned into tax-and-spend Democrats.) The Wolf Party, on the other hand, was pretty ineffectual, building their platform around core ideas in Jiang Zemin’s now-abandoned western China development strategy, and prone to being caught in “gotcha” moments by their opposition when they failed to answer questions posed by Sam Donaldson (also me).
As for the Pandas, well, in the words of their presidential candidate who himself paraphrased Hu Jintao, the panda is a “harmonious” creature and, by learning from the panda, the Panda Party would promote a more “harmonious society.” (This line was delivered in perfect deadpan earnestness and provoked a wave of laughter from the students.) The debate ended with a closing statement from each party, and it looked for sure like the Eagle Party, which kept focusing like a laser beam on housing prices, was the clear favorite.
With a few minutes left in class we turned to voting. I handed out slips of paper and told the students that they were now voters and could vote for the party that they liked best, and that they didn’t have to vote for their own party. Alas, Palm Beach County (me yet again) failed to devise a sound balloting procedure. Inspecting the final tally I noticed there were more votes than there were voters, but we were out of time.
The result? The Pandas harmoniously stole the election.